01-23-24 Kat's In Town!
So much has been happening and yet, nothing at all. I'm still on the job hunt, something which my bank account likes to remind me of every single day. It's so frustrating, and I try to be chill about it, but after so many applications and absolute radio silence, and with the bills piling higher and higher... eep. That said, I did apply to a job back in my hometown, for the PBS station there.
It's my dream job. It really is. Video editing, with a splash of camera operating and a healthy dose of live multicamera shows to work on. My favorite things! I love video production, and I loved interning at that PBS. But at the same time... the thought of leaving Austin, even if just for a few years, did make me cry once or twice. In a way it feels like admitting defeat. But more importantly, Austin is so much more colorful, and lively, and friendly than the rest of Texas. The culture is creative and refreshing. There's actual plantlife here, and the wildflowers blooming in the spring months are one of the most breathtaking things I've ever seen. And... It's the only place I've ever felt safe being out. With a nice 6 hour barrier between my parents and I.
I love my parents more than anything, but they are conservative, and while they've gotten better about The Gays over the past several years, they're still... Ugh. They would never understand anything gender-related, and to be honest even if I am bisexual, I doubt I'll ever tell them until I'm literally planning a wedding about it. Everyone I know in Austin is queer as hell, and the thought of going back home to a city where that is very much not the case is... bleak.
On the other hand, ever since like half my family died during COVID, I've been very paranoid about my parents suddenly falling ill or getting into an accident or what have you. Being in Austin also kind of feels like I'm wasting what little time I have left with my mom and dad. It's complicated, crying-type emotions all around. Staying and leaving both feel... bad. But I want to get back into television, I have an in with this PBS station, I'm more than qualified, and I know the area well. It won't kill me to go back for a few years. Just don't let me stay there, you guys! Don't let me give up on Austin.
Speaking of Austin, my dear friend Kat came to visit all the way from Southern California! It's been a solid year and a half since I've seen this guy, so it was super exciting to hang out with him for a week and a half. Texas weather was as crazy and fluctuating as ever, so we had a good mix between going out and staying in and watching shows and movies. We went to Fredericksburg and ate at a german restaurant and went shopping up and down main street. We went to the Blanton Museum of Art over by the UT campus and got to see some really cool paintings and sculptures. We went to Breakaway records and some of the nearby thrift stores- and I've gotta say, Austin thrift stores are built different. They've got their aesthetics on lock.
We also saw Poor Things (2023) with my other friend Koby, which was pretty good. LOTS of sex in that movie, let me tell you. But it was fun, and demented, and it had Mark Ruffalo, who I enjoy. Then we went to a conveyor belt sushi place! I've never been to one of those. It was pretty cool, but I'm kind of a little bitch who mostly likes the rolls, and I would have preferred the sushi a little bit colder. But they had a Peanuts promotion going and I got a little lens cloth that has Snoopy and Woodstock on it. We also got hot pot on a different day, which was REALLY good but really expensive and also I'm impatient so I burnt my tongue really bad. Like, badly enough for it to be hurting for the rest of the trip.
On our days inside we watched a lot of fun stuff like Leverage (Kat's Choice) and Breaking Bad (My Choice), we played Splatoon and crushed the Splatfest (RIP Team Family), and I got to show them Sweeney Todd for the first time ever, which was fun. And, of course, there was a lot of cuddling and talking and napping and watching Tiktok together. Silly stuff.
I love it when my friends visit but it's always a little hard to see them go. You go from hanging out and talking with someone 24/7 for over a week to... absolutely nothing. It's lonely. I wish all my friends lived closer! I want friends who just walk into each others houses like in Seinfeld. I guess I could just make NEW friends in Austin- but I might be moving back home, so even that isn't the best solution!
Thanks everyone for reading my latest blog entry. I'm sorry these have been a little gloomy, I've just been in a bit of a rough patch the past few months. I like to believe that slowly but surely I'm climbing back up onto the horse, though. See you next time! <3